(vintage fur vest and belt; DVF dress, bangles, and handbag; Lizzie Fortunato Jewels necklace; TopShop shoes)

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The bittersweet memories of stepping on our scales in mid- December and weighing in like a champion have since drowned in our sorrows of pumpkin pie and cured-meat-ten-ways. I recently heard a very chilling tale that each holiday season, the average person {I know…we are anything but average} gains two lbs and never looses it! Ten years later, you look back at your boy-sized Jets jersey that you used to wear for Sunday football and, well, it’s been passed down to your boy. Scaaaaary!

In efforts to support the two lb gain each season, for all of the wonderfully delicious and deserving {foodies} out there {me, me!}, there is a way to well-rounded (wink) holiday success! Belts. To cinch or not to cinch? Here’s a guide to hiding and skinnifying that twice baked potato belly button:

{The Skinny}…

Dress n’ Fly: Throw on that A-line dress and fly out the door, not without, of course, a skinny minnie belt in rich embossed leather cinching your waist. Finish the look with a classic pointed pump. Your friends will gasp, “WOW! How do you look so polished and trim,” all while hiding behind their potato sack dresses… Victory!

Back to School: Get your “ladies who lunch” on with a shift dress, cropped cardigan sweater, and skinny minnie belt. Of course, hold on the desert while looking so Vogue-worthy. Anna Wintour-approved.

High Tides: Break out the high-waist, wide-leg trouser this new year! Add a chiffon button down blouse and finish with a skinny minnie trouser belt. Are you there, Diane Keaton? It’s me, your cinched twin.

{The Wide Load}…

Shift Over: Grab that mini shift dress…I see it…peaking out the far back corner…behind your pile of “way too” mom jeans that you still haven’t parted with {cue: Closet Raid article that you didn’t follow!} and yank it back to life. Add an wide waist belt and get your boogie on.

Posh Spice: Have a muy importante business meeting and need to woo away? Add a wide waist belt to a below-the-knee sheath and stomp through the glass-on-dewy-carpet-doors like a true Beckham.

Risky Business: Add style and skinnify your daytime routine in an oversized men’s shirt and a wide belt. With tights and ballet flats, you lead with a win-win in your battle with expired coupons at the grocery store.

Moral? Belt shopping is typically more fun than doing crunches…

xoxo, elshane

(Image 1 and 3: Jill Stuart Collection {to-die-for} studded blazer purchased second-hand {with tags on!} at vintage consignment store, Wasteland LA, DVF leopard harem pants and handbag; TopShop boots, turban from the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul, Turkey; Images 2, 4, 5: Inside the doors of Wasteland LA, vintage consignment store, where I sell my old clothes, and buy even better new ones!)

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I’m a huge to-do list-er: The bubble letters, the perfect check boxes, the rainbow of highlighted words—I love to-do lists! But, most importantly, what I actually write on that paper MUST be completed…so I can make beautiful squiggly lines while crossing off the task. Fulfillment at its best.

One of my favorite topics to add to a to-do list is a closet purge. Out with the old, in with the new! After all, there’s no better justification to cleanse than Black Friday—a day (turned weekend holiday) where sale signs are as prevalent as, well…sequins on elshane {to state the obvious}.

Here’s my guide to what to keep and what to trash.

* Keep:

Tops: Tops don’t typically stray too far from a constant fashion. Anything with bold accents, embroidery, a strong shoulder should be kept. What’s old is always new again…some day.

Bottoms: Keep a very ripped, baggy jean. It’s good to wear around the house and is a classic to be passed down for generations to come.

Handbags: Anything with an uber-long strap is a must! If you think the strap is just too long, tie a chic knot at the top of the strap by the shoulder to give it an updated look—it will shorten the bag by at least 6 inches.

Shoes: Dainty Jimmy Choo-esque shoes are making a big comeback, so bring those from the back to the front of your closet, and hold on tight. Plus, a local {shoe doctor} (the most important doctors on the planet) can easily mend minor scratches for under $50.

* Trash/Donate/Sell {to a vintage consignment store like the one pictured above}:

Tops: If your first thought is, “aww, I remember this top. I wore it to see Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Arc in 1981 on my first date with my husband” , trash it, please. I would hope that by now, you have made stronger memories in the last 30 years than a faded polyester top.

Bottoms: Fortunately for your closet, bottoms go out of style very quickly. If you question it, toss it. Older styles are always less flattering, and denim lately has become so advanced that it’s worth any investment to get yourself in a new pair.

Handbags: If you must toss some handbags, get rid of small purses with extremely short shoulder straps—they’re not trending to be back in style for a.very.long.time.

Shoes: Red flag! If the shoe looks like your puppy found a new chew toy, toss it. You’ve worked too hard to look {head-to-calf} hot. And, if it costs over $50 to fix, save the money for a new, updated pair!

So, this Black Friday, follow the {Hammurabi’s Code} fashion mantra of the week:

**An eye for an eye.

**A dumpy old suede clutch for a {bangin’} {fresh n’ fly} so-good-you-can-taste-it new YSL tote bag.

 Hey, Hammurabi never said “ a blue eye for a blue eye”…

xx, elshane